On Change

The weather has cooled here; after days of rain, the skies were blue and cloudless all day. We worked in the yard this morning - blowing leaves, trimming away summer overgrowth, cleaning out the garden and, most of all, enjoying this change of seasons. 

Thinking about the changes we see and feel; the changes through which we have come; and the changes that we know are coming, I’m reminded that this moment is a gift.

And it is also opportunity.  I like the perspective these words, written by Michael Shillingford and posted by Gary O’Connor at The Oriental Orthodox Order in the West, offer on change:

Change

The nature of our world is transitory-always has been, always will be. Change occurs every second. Breathe it in, then breathe it out. But despite the interconnectedness of everything, we still have a say on how we handle the weave of the fabric. We can let the status quo confine us to a narrow thread, or we can cut through that fabric to see our true nature. Our lessons cannot be learned if the sun is shining every day. And on rainy days, we might share our umbrella with another.

The Wisdom of Nondualism

On Monday evening, Jane emailed this quote:

“It’s not revolutions and upheavals that clear the road to newer days, but revelations, lavishness and torments of someone’s soul, inspired and ablaze.”  ~  Boris Pasternak

The quote found a place in my heart as I’ve continued to ponder both the inward journey of this contemplative life and the outward manifestations of that journey.  Is there a conflict between the interior and exterior life?  Do we listen and serve? Listen or serve?  Does stillness meet physical needs or overturn injustice?  Does action without awareness meet the spiritual needs that underpin injustice?

This morning I shared thoughts about this with some friends in the community :

“There seems to me to be some kind of tension…requiring some kind of balance, but, in which the ‘right’ balance can only be known through the interior work – the ‘lavishness and torments of someone’s soul, inspired and ablaze’….I’m seeing this isn’t really an oppositional tension as much as a creative tension – a place of where Spirit flows through individual and community, interior stillness and inspired action; a place where even the energy of balance helps our hearts stretch and unfold in new ways….”

Then this afternoon, I picked up a book I bought last week – Jean-Yves Leloup’s text and commentary on The Gospel of Thomas - and my heart sang with an answer from Logion 3:

“Yeshua said:
If those who guide you say: Look,
the Kingdom is in the sky,
then the birds are closer than you.
If they say: Look,
it is in the sea,
then the fish already know it.
The Kingdom is inside you,
and it is outside you.”

In the commentary Leloup writes:

“If it had simply said, ‘The kingdom is within you,’  it would give one-sided privilege to inner experiences and meditations. This would encourage us to flee the world, to disregard what is going on around us. Happiness would be only spiritual and we would be separate from our carnal half. The world, others, and matter itself would be reduced to temptations and threats prowling around our inner being.”

“If the gospel had said, ‘The kingdom is outside you,’ then we would be encouraged to transform the world and convert others at all costs, and it would be selfishness to sit in silence and listen to the song of the Living One in our heart.”

“This gospel is a cure for our schizophrenia of outside vs. inside, for it tells us that the Kingdom includes both. There is no opposition, because outer and inner realities come together in the Kingdom. This can transform our way of seeing things….This attitude cultivates a special kind of wakefulness in everyday life….” (68)

“So we see that to work for the coming of the Kingdom implies a twofold movement: toward the inwardness of all things, spiritualizing matter; and toward the outwardness of things, manifesting the Spirit, incarnating it fully within the space, time, society, and situations that are ours….” (69)

 

Mercy and Justice: Dr. Paul Farmer

Just Looking

I struggle with run away thoughts: see an image, an icon, an object, an event, or a person … someone … anyone … something … anything … and I absently and automatically start sorting and labelling and mentally filing.

My mind feasts, but my heart starves.

Something essential is lost when there is no deep heart/spiritual connection in the seeing.

Christ Pantocrator

A couple of weeks ago, using the image of Christ Pantocrator, I started practicing seeing – just looking and letting what is there move into my heart unfiltered by my mind. No labelling. No judgements. No analysis. In the way that I practice centering prayer by letting go of the words and thought-stream in my head, I’m practicing looking at icons and objects and people.

I gotta tell you – when I approach life in this way, my mind screams. Is it possible to pull a muscle inside your head??? It is a new and strenuous practice, but it is stretching and opening me. I can feel old, rock-hard habits of thought cracking and patterns being completely disrupted. It’s tough.

And it’s good.

Because in the deep center of my being, I’m feeling a kind of rush. No longer left out or the last one picked, my heart is like a child running out to play. It’s wearing a blanket cape and brandishing a stick – meeting life with unbridled joy, fresh enthusiasm, a new box of crayons, and fingerpaint – throwing being into the wonder of life, rather than measuring it with words.

Being With You

You are the invitation: the call and answer;
lover’s plaintive cry and hearts’ deep longing.

You are ears tuned to the sigh of separation;
the whispered response turning this heart home.

You are the journey, the path, the irresistible
pull and push beyond accepting a life without.

You are sojourner’s vision, perseverance’ reason,
stillness’ purpose, and patience’ reward.

You are joyous welcome, the shout of recognition –  
throwing the door open and running into embrace.

You are the space between and intimate union:
One touch, one breath, one kiss, and consummation –

You are Wholeness,
and You are One.